nerd alert

runewynd:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store. 

You fucking jackass!

Me? We were sitting ducks out there!

Wh— We almost had it! We only needed a few more seconds!

You don’t know that!

What the f— Yes I do! Newsflash: I was there, and by the way, I’m made outta numbers! Why can’t you just trust me?

hiipsterdirk:

hiipsterdirk:

vegetarianvelociraptor:

“thank y0u human f0r all0wing me to make this purchase, it is much appreciated”
“are you satans daughter”

iM FUCKING DYING OHMY G O D

OMFG THIS PIC OF ME IS GOING AROUND AGAIN JFC

hiipsterdirk:

hiipsterdirk:

vegetarianvelociraptor:

“thank y0u human f0r all0wing me to make this purchase, it is much appreciated”

“are you satans daughter”

iM FUCKING DYING OHMY G O D

OMFG THIS PIC OF ME IS GOING AROUND AGAIN JFC

youareyoubutwhoareyou:

itissilent:

vintagefreshman:

DEAR PEOPLE WHO MADE “THE GIVER” MOVIE:

THERE ARE NO FUCKING HOVERCRAFTS IN THE BOOK

NO HOVERCRAFTS ABDUCT JONAS IN THE BOOK

JONAS AND FIONA DO NOT FALL IN LOVE IN THE BOOK

THE INJECTIONS ARE PILLS IN THE BOOK

JUST

PLEASE

JONAS IS TWELVE IN THE BOOK.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY

rumified:

punkgoesbridget:

damn

BEST POST ON TUMBLR

rumified:

punkgoesbridget:

damn

BEST POST ON TUMBLR

pulpdrinker:

i have never seen something more clearly written by a straight white male

pulpdrinker:

i have never seen something more clearly written by a straight white male

404linknotfound:

this person has played TF2 for an entire school year

joetheklepto:

chauvinistsushi:

velvetbrown:

coolyourjetsbennie:

buy these MANLY CANDLES for all your NO HOMO needs

What the hell is camouflage supposed to smell like?

insecurity


As a Yankee Candle employee, I can tell you that Camouflage smells like sweat and trees.

joetheklepto:

chauvinistsushi:

velvetbrown:

coolyourjetsbennie:

buy these MANLY CANDLES for all your NO HOMO needs

What the hell is camouflage supposed to smell like?

insecurity

As a Yankee Candle employee, I can tell you that Camouflage smells like sweat and trees.

fadeintocase:

tytnetwork:

The model featured in one of Burger King’s infamously suggestive ads for the BK Super Seven Incher has said the company used her image without her permission. In a statement, the woman said that she was publicly humiliated and calls for people to boycott. 

i have no problem with boycotting since BK is fucking awful anyway